Sex is one of the single most significant activity that can alone give you chills down every nerve in your body. And irrespective of how the media portrays it to be taboo – a sin that should not be publicised – it does feel great to be able to talk about it with the people who matter to you.
It is a very personal act, for sure. However, the interaction between the two partners is essential, be it during the buildup to the intimacy or the entire time through the relationship. This helps both the partners become familiar with each other’s wants and needs. Also, it deepens the relationship.
However, there are still many questions that might crop up in your mind before you are going to have sex with your partner, probably for the first time. These questions can be segregated under many categories, namely:
- General questions
- Emotional questions
- Literal questions
- Questions that people normally ignore
These questions aren’t tough, but you should be able to find the answer without much struggle.
The General Set of Questions Ask Before Having Sex With Your Partner
1. Is the partner free from STDs?
This is one of the first questions that you should ask yourself. If either one of you or your partner has had multiple sex partners in the past, there are high chances that sexually transmitted diseases have cropped up. Hence, in such cases, it is very wise to get checked for your mental satisfaction.
2. Are you ready for it?
If you have been staying away from sex because of some self-righteous reasons and this is your first time, ask yourself – “are you really ready for sex?”. Also, in some instances, you will find that many people are in haste to do it, and in the process of doing so, forget to make the judgements.
3. Do you have spare condoms?
In some cases, sex is just an outcome of a passionate make-out session. You never know when such a situation arrives, and hence, it is totally wise to carry some condoms in your purse or wallet. If having unprotected sex is not an option for you, keeping the small rubber comes handy.
4. When did you have your period?
For any girl, this is a fundamental question. Sex during the periods can be gross and rewarding at the same time, but having intercourse just after the monthly cycle, especially without contraception, can lead to high signs of pregnancy. Hence, it is crucial to keep a tap on the period date.
5. Are you confident with your body?
Being confident with your own body is very important. It doesn’t matter if you have a pair of small breasts or an average-size penis or a skinny body, being comfortable with your own appearance will do a world of good in creating an impression over your partner.
The Emotional Set of Questions to Ask Before Having Sex With Your Partner
6. Is he/she the right one for you?
If you believe that sex is something sacred and should be for just that one special person who you already have or waiting to meet, asking yourself whether he/she is the right one for you is indispensable. This will ensure that you don’t have any second thoughts about the person you are having sex with.
7. Is the timing perfect?
Did you know that sex can bring about the emotional closeness between the partners? So if you have probably found the perfect guy, sex would just deepen the relationship further and walking off might become a problem. Hence, before you indulge in sex, ask yourself – is the timing perfect? Are you ready for a relationship that could be long term?
8. Are you comfortable with sex?
Sex often fits in the core value for people, and they believe that such a high level of emotional attachment and physical intimacy cannot be achieved with everyone. Hence, if you are in a situation where the buildup might lead to sex, ask yourself whether you are comfortable with it. If the relationship is a temporary fling, you should have a slight hint. Commence thereafter! If you find sex to be too amazing to stop, don’t!
9. How do you see the relationship in a couple of years from now?
For anyone who is into a long-term relationship, far-fetched goals are the ultimate glory. Irrespective of how good bonding you two share, or how many promises you have made, having sex should always have a different feeling. Plus, if you are in a relationship, it should help in longevity.
The Literal Set of Questions to Ask Before Having Sex With Your Partner
10. What is your take on contraceptives?
Sure thing, condoms are a part of contraception but often bring down the pleasure of sex. However, when you consider the other upsides of using a condom – pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease protection, they become critical.
But then again, if both you and your partner are tested to be STD-negative and both have given the consent, having sex without the use of a condom might sound like a better idea. However, this way, you will have to depend on the emergency night-after pill.
11. Did you consider birth control?
Birth controls aren’t the emergency night-after pills. There are different types of birth control, like adding a small device in the body or undergoing a monthly medicine cycle that would ensure that you don’t conceive. However, the question is – did you consider going under birth control? After all, too much of the night-after pills might be dangerous in the future.
12. What are you into?
In some cases, either of the partners is actually not into the other. It is only the idea of physical intimacy and sex that keep him/her interested. In such cases, if the partner is very much into you, chances are having sex might increase the attachment more and it might be difficult for you to leave. Think before you act!
The Set of Questions that Most People Ignore
13. When was the last time you got yourself tested?
If your sex life is very active, you should get tested more often, especially after having unprotected sex with several partners. You never know what the dreaded STDs engulf you. Hence, if you don’t get yourself tested, you will end up spreading the disease with whoever you get in bed with.
14. Are you or your partner seeing someone else besides each other?
If you are indulging in sex for the first time with your partner, you should inevitably ask yourself, are you or your partner seeing someone on the side? There are small indications that might prove it. Of course, if you are comfortable with having multiple sex partners at once, it should not be a problem. However, if you aren’t, things might go haywire.
15. Would you be fine if you never see him/her again?
Sex does not necessarily happen between two people who have an emotional connection; even casual flings might result in sex. In such a case, if you are into your partner with all your heart and he/she isn’t, are there any chances you might end up being single after the sexual encounter? You can still proceed with the work if you are okay with the idea that you might not see him/her ever again.
16. What are your expectations from sex?
To be precise, your expectations from sex with this particular partner matters. Is it something long-term that you are looking to fetch or just a temporary thing. Whatever it may be, both you and your partner should be comfortable with it. If you are expecting sex just to heal your broken relationship magically, you might have a positive result.
17. Are you here just for a one-night-stand?
One-night-stands have become a thing, and a lot of people are actually into it. However, if you realise, a one night stand and having sex while being in a relationship are different. The sex that you indulge into will have a lot lesser emotions in a hookup, and the passionate moves might be out of the window. Hence, if you aren’t into anything serious, you might not get much beyond “meaningless” sex.
18. Will he/she like your physical attributes?
Many people are actually very concerned about this, something that often kills them as an inferiority complex. Will you partner like you for how you look under your undergarments? Aesthetics do play a massive role in the turn-on process, and if that is bang on target, half of the attraction is already done. However, if you have a complex over how you look and fear your partner might not like it either, your confidence level can take a hit.
19. Have you been completely honest with your partner about your past relationships?
Believe it or not, your past relationships have a huge say in how your present relationship and intimacy will shape up to be. And when you are almost on the verge of having sex with your partner for the first time, he/she must know things from your past. Having sex first and then revealing tricky stuff from the past might be the wrong thing to do.
20. How was it the time you had last sex?
Not everyone is perfect at sex and not every sexual intercourse is perfect. There is nothing to worry about if your last sex did not end up on a satisfactory note. Such things happen, and there are high chances that you can turn it around this time. So even if your last time was not up to the mark, you know what went wrong and can work on the flaws, big time.
21. Can you take the game a notch higher with foreplay?
Foreplay is crucial. It sets the mood to the big climax and can often be the compensation for short intercourse. Hence, even if you aren’t very confident with how the sex would end up, make sure the foreplay is undeniably amazing. Your partner will absolutely love your approach.
22. Are you comfortable with oral sex?
Oral sex can be a part of the foreplay. However, not everyone is comfortable with it. In fact, some people take a long time to try oral sex for the first time actually. So, if you aren’t very comfortable with it, you have the option of trying it out or not going for it at all.
23. What is your favourite post-sex activity?
The post-sex activity is very important, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. It is nice to make your partner feel good after the intercourse is over. Perhaps, a little cuddling or series of kisses on the forehead would do no bad. Plus, it will make your partner feel belonged.
24. Are you sexually ready for the bout?
Your genitals should also be prepared before having sex. Maintaining proper hygiene is a must, but taking an extra effort the cleanup and moisturise the parts can go a long way. Plus, you need to make sure that you smell good from everywhere at all times, it helps.
Are These Questions Important?
You might be able to say it with experience once you are done with the trickiness of the ‘firsts’. These questions might be life and relationship-changing for you and might have a huge impact. If you can find positive answers to these questions successfully, you can find yourself to be in a better emotional and sexual standing and that might help your relationship significantly.
Be it things as simple as the contraception to something as tricky as emotions, make sure that you don’t screw up a promising new start.
In certain situations, where you are just in for casual dating and sex, the emotional questions aren’t necessary, but the literal questions are. On the other hand, for everyone who is in a long-term relationship, almost all the questions are very vital as they can help shape the future.
So before you indulge into something as private and intimate as sex, make sure that you are entirely prepared for it and are asking yourself specific questions, preferably all of these, if applicable.